Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
