OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
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I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
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I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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