I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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