I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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