One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
