I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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