so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
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when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
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started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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