know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
you made out with another girl for some wings
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
