dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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