I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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