girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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