I am in a vortex of obligation.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
