Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
