ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Randomize
