he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
