"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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