The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I would fuck him just for his dog
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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