i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
