he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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