What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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