I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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