Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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