so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
