If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
