What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
