i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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