I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
