just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize