I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
