He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
