im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Green mimosas i think yes
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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