so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
