Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize