Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
