Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
