you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
