you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
