Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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