"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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