I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket