It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize