We're like a lot better than the average bears
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
