Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm passing your future prison.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
