they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
