i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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