you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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