I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
