yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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