i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
