I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
