Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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