I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
