Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
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I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
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And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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