I like to think it a success when the cops are called
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I supernannyed him into submission
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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