your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
