I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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