he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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