Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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