those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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