I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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