"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
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i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
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I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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